Graduation....kinda

When Big E told me that I would be going to a graduation in Germany, I was thinking it would be like a college graduation or even a high school graduation.

I was wrong.

Apparently in Germany, if you're a junior in high school you graduate from some church thing. It's kind of like some communion thing in America. I don't know, I don't go to church so someone can fill me in on that one.

Anyway, I went to the graduation. The thing was ridiculous. They sang religious songs and did that type of thing. Now I'm not against people believing in a "higher calling" or anything, but this was over the edge. You had people dancing to this type of stuff. I definitely couldn't do it. The priest would change his clothes multiple times throughout the ceremony. At one point, the priest was wearing a rainbow scarf (isn't that type of stuff against the Bible?) The last song that they sang was said to be from America. I know I don't go to church or anything, but the song they sang was not from the United States. I'm positive of that. The song was stupid. There is no way something of that level of stupidity could come from America. Ellen after the "show" said she was really upset with the whole thing. She had to go through the same thing when she was in school here and said "It was completely different than what I had to do."

After the graduation, we went to one of my cousin's houses. At first I felt kind of awkward because everyone was just staring at me like I was a moron. Which was true. I was just standing there with my mother and listening to her talk in German.

Then all of a sudden, my uncle (who is a badass by the way) gave me a beer....

Four beers, nine glasses of wine, and one shot of Schnaps later....I was ready to go.

No one could understand a word that was coming from my mouth, not because I was drunk, but because I was only speaking American. My mom, bless her heart, tried to translate but it was no use. My 2nd cousin (not Ben), who is actually my age, can speak American so she got most of everything I was saying. Somehow, though, I was able to bond with the rest of the family. I got talking with Sabrina (the cousin that is my age) and I guess we're going to the bars on Wednesday, which I'm pumped about.

Overall, it was a decent day/night. I'm only going to see these people maybe 3 or 4 more times in my life so I might as well raise hell with them. I ended up doing another shot with two of my cousins and some older lady (My guess is that she was around 75 years old. I found out I have a billion cousins over here so I'm not even going to confuse you with their names).

I have a few pictures from the church and other things but I'm not gonna post them right now. I'm too tired to. So deal with it. I'll keep ya waiting another day or so.

Tomorrow I meet up with my brother and next week I go to a shit-ton of different places. I'll have a few pics of my cousins and places I've been.

First full day of Germany is an interesting one

My first full day here in the land of Deutsch has been a different one; I had to go to a funeral for an uncle. Nevermind the fact that I've never met him, but I got to meet the rest of my "extended" family.

I learned today that my mother is the youngest of 11 children. I have eight German uncles and two German aunts. I already knew this, but, one of those uncles is still missing from World War II; he never came home after his troop left for Russia (I have another uncle who was in World War II and was a POW for six years, but he is related by marriage.) Coincidently, I have a German uncle named Adolf....

The funeral itself was different from an American one. For starters, the church where the funeral was held in was in a cemetery. The graveyards over here are beautiful (I know, weird). The graves don't just have a tombstone on it with the bodies' name along with the date of birth and death; the tombstones are a work of art. If I brought my camera, I would have taken pictures (but it's awkward to bring them to a funeral). The actual grave is outlined with stones so it is more personal, if you will, so the family can plant their flowers or whatever.

After the funeral, I met one of my cousins. Thankfully, she knows how to speak American. We talked for a little while at a little cafe where the "after party" was held. Now when you think of European cafes, you think of people sitting at a small table wearing funny hats and eating some sort of pastry on a small plate. Along with the pastry, you have a tiny cup of coffee that you set on an even smaller plate. The table has a checkered table cloth and on the table cloth you have a small vase with flowers in it.

That is exactly what they are over here.

Tina (the cousin who can speak American) and I were just chitt-chatten and were getting to know each other. Apparently she owns a shop that sells butcher knifes (weird right?). She was very helpful though. She would point out everyone and told me what relation they are to me. She also told me that I was the first child of Ellens' that she had met. I found that pretty interesting because she is around the same age as my brothers and sister. She also went off and told me how she hates how the family doesn't stay in contact with each other, unless it's a funeral. I agree. I had no idea about that whole side of the family, I would love to know more. It's just tough because they are pretty much all older than me and I don't know how to speak German and they don't know how to speak American.

After a while, I could tell that the rest of the family was just staring at me and asking each other, "Who the hell is that American ?" Tina told me that they were all family and I shouldn't be afraid. Right after she told me that, she broke the news that she was leaving.

Great. Now who the hell was I going to talk to?

So there I was, with no one. My mom was off speaking Deutsch and I had no idea what was going on. When I came back to the cafe after grabbing my jacket from Tina's car, I found Big-E talking to the same people that were staring at me. They, for some reason, were impressed with me because I graduated from an American college (I just wish they could of seen where I graduated; it might of changed their minds). They also asked if I was in the military. Hell no. Does it look like I'm in the military?

Germany is rather different then America. On the way home from the cafe, I noticed that a lot of Germans drive either BMW's, Mercedes, or Audis. All three of those are made here in Germany, not a lot of foreign cars are driven around here. I did, thankfully, see a Chevy being driven. I also saw a Ford broken down on the side of the road (big surprise). The fact that Germans only drive those three types of vehicles though speaks about the national pride. Something that America doesn't really have right now. Granted, Detroit is finally starting to make cars again so maybe that will change things.

The scenery in German is beautiful. There are giant business buildings and then tiny shops are mixed in between. So far in my travels, I've noticed that the sidewalks are kept up well; none of them are cracking or are in terrible shape. Everyone is either walking or riding a bicycle. This is something I like. You can really tell the shape of a city by looking at their sidewalks. You don't really have that in America. Everyone is driving and all of the sidewalks are in terrible shape (well, atleast in Utica).

Tomorrow I'm supposed to go shopping in the town I'm in. I'm in Dotzheim, where ever the hell that is. I can't wait to check out the cigar shops that are in town, I should get some good-quality ones. I'll post pictures tomorrow. Wish me luck.

FINALLY...I have come back...

Its been 18 years since I've stepped foot in the mother-land that they call Germany and let me tell you, it is pretty crazy over here

But before I get into that, let me tell you how this whole thing started out...

I had to be at the Hancock airport in Syracuse at 9 in the morning, so naturally I stayed up till 2 in the morning and woke up at 6. When I got there, it was pretty relaxed. Literally NO ONE was in the airport. I felt like I was in some Zombie movie and my mother and I were the only survivors. Just when I thought there was no hope for the human race, Casey Maloney comes prancing through the airport. Turns out, she had to catch the red-eye flight back from California. #Random. So we chit-chatted it up for a few moments. We said our good-byes and then I went back to sitting with my mom in the most boring airport of all-time.

FINALLY....our plane arrived and we were off to Detroit (I know, it's the complete opposite way of Germany)

The flight goes fine. It only took like two hours at the most.

Get into the HUGE Detroit airport. The gate we landed in is on the complete other side of where we need to be to catch our next flight. So Big-E and I start our march towards Germany. Some chick told us that our gate number is 66 (I know guys, so close) and we're gonna have to go under some tunnel to get there. Now when I think of a tunnel, I think of a dark, creepy and scary area that I have to be worried about finding Freddy Krueger in. Not this one. This freaking tunnel was lit up with ridiculous-ass colors. Like bright colors. It was like a Ke$ha concert, Katy Perry concert and an acid trip that Jim Morrison would of had all mixed into one. So after walking almost two miles, we get to our gate. I bust out my laptop and I'm finally going to be able to update my status and Twitter.

Wrong.

In the Detroit airport, apparently, I have to pay $5 to use the internet for a half an hour.

What the hell is up with that?

So instead, I just go to Borders and buy a book (Yes, I do know how to read. Kinda). I bought Chris Jericho's new book called "Undisputed." Fantastic book. I'm about half-way through it and I highly recommend it.

But anyway, our flight is about to board. So Ellen and I line up. We're finally ready to fly to Germany. While I'm standing in line, though, I start to get a weird feeling. The feeling of someone is watching me. Sure enough, someone is. Actually, a few people are. The airport security thought I was suspicious-enough and they told me that they had to check my bags. I was the only one they called over. Now I know I'm a pretty weird guy, but let me lay this one down on ya. There was this one dude who literally looked like he hasn't seen the sun since Vietnam. This guy had long grayish hair and an even longer beard. He had a small track bag as his luggage and was wearing camouflaged shorts with a wife beater. So naturally they chose me.

Whatever.

So we get on the plane. I have Ellen sitting on one side of me and some weird kid with his mother sitting on the other side. A Butterbean look-a-like was sitting in the aisle next to us (If you don't know who Butterbean is, look him up and picture my mom sitting next to him. You'll laugh). I didn't think the flight would be that bad. We had our own personal televisions and I had my new book, so I was all set. I turn the TV on and all I had to chose between was Big Momma's House 3 or some indy crap movies. I could watch sitcoms too. The only one that sparked my interest was NCIS (Terrible show. L & O SVU blows it out of the water) I had to deal with that for 7 and a half hours.

7 and a half hours.

I look around and see if there is ANYONE cool on this plane. I found some old guy sittin' next to his wife, rocking an AMERICAN flag hat. That guy rocked.

Somehow I survived the flight and when we were about to land, I looked at the TV next to me and saw what the weirdo mom, who was sleeping on me at this point, was watching. She was watching some Nazi-based indy film. Awesome. All I saw were a bunch of Nazis marching down the street and doing their salute. We're flying into Germany and you're watching some Nazi flick? She clearly has her shit together.

We get out of the plane and I step foot into the airport. Now, to put this into perspective. There were at least 200 hundred passengers on the plane. The hallway that we had to walk through to get to baggage claim was seriously the width of a regular closet door.

How in the blue hell were you supposed to get that many people through one little doorway-like hallway? It wasn't going to happen. It was terrible. We were moving soooo slow.

We finally get out of the airport and I was on my way to the house that we're staying at. I'm looking around and Germany is ridiculous. The buildings are so small and narrow (kinda like that hallway) and the roads are even worse. The roads are all twisty-turny like and the Germans don't give a damn on how fast they go. It was scary as hell. I almost saw two busses get into a head on collision. #funfact.

Another thing that is ridiculous is the fact that there are so many Smartcars over here. From the airport to the house, I counted 10 Smartcars. You know what I didn't count any of?

Chevrolets.

Travesty.

I did find it awkward, though, that Taylor Swift was blaring from people's cars over here. I don't know. Everyone loves her.

So this is where I leave you. I'm jet-lagged like a son-of-a-bitch and there are probably a ton of errors in this blog. You know what? I don't care. I've been up for atleast 24 hours straight, I've gone through 4 or 5 different time zones, I was treated as though I was a suspicious character and then I had to protect my mother from some Butterbean look-a-like.

I'm a little tired.

Know your role and shut your mouth. I'm sleeping for now.

So goodnight....or goodmorning?

Review of the Buffalo Bills draft

Even though the Buffalo Bills haven't stepped onto the football field yet, a lot of draft experts have claimed that the Bills are one of the "draft winners" from last week's draft. While the Bills had a lot of holes on their team, one who actually follows the team realizes the biggest need for the Bills was on the defensive side of the ball. Seven of the Bills' nine draft picks were defensive players.

Round 1 (3)- Marcell Dareus, DT

Even though I had him going to the Broncos with the second pick in my mock draft and Von Miller going to Buffalo, I'm happy the Bills made Dareus their pick. He's a big, nasty player that has a mean streak and Bills fans will love it. The Bills are trying to turn their defense into a 3-4 front. They picked the right player for the job because Dareus is a three-position player in a 3-4 front. Even Jon Gruden liked this pick because he thought Dareus was better than Auburn's Nick Fairley.

Round 2 (34)- Aaron Williams, CB

I was pretty upset with this pick, especially with Da'quan Bowers still sitting there. Imagine the Bills having Kyle Williams, Marcel Dareus and Bowers lining up each Sunday, scary. Anyway, all I've been seeing of Williams, though, is that he is a great corner. Mel Kiper Jr. is quoted with saying, "He wound up going 34. I thought he'd be a late one. I thought teams like Philadelphia would look at him and some of those teams late (in the first). To get him where they did that's a nice pick there." He is great defender and a big, physical corner. Apparently, he is great against the run too, so that's huge for the Bills.

Round 3 (68)- Kelvin Sheppard, LB

Great pick. The Bills needed depth at linebacker and he was one of the better linebackers coming out of college. I was surprised he was still in the third round. Chan Gailey has experience with him, having coached him during the Senior Bowl. Could this be the writing on the wall for Aaron Maybin?

Round 4 (100)- Da'Norris Searcy, DB

Very versatile player. He has linebacking experience but plays safety. Tough, physical player. Could this also be the writing on the wall for Donte Whitner? I don't really think so, I don't see Searcy really pushing for a spot. I hope the Bills resign Donte.

Round 4 (122)- Chris Hairston, OT

Standing at 6' 6" and weighing 326, this was a good pick for the Bills. Kiper also thinks this was a great-value pick for the Bills. According to Kiper, "He's got long arms, but has to get quicker." He will be reunited with former Clemson alum, CJ Spiller. Chan Gailey sees Hairston as being their RT, which you have to believe he'll be given a lot of chances at earning it.

Round 5 (133)- Johnny White, RB

This was a head scratcher for me. I don't know why they would pick a RB here. I figure he is gonna be more of a special-teams type of player. According to the Buffalo Bills website, Todd McShay believes "he can catch the ball as well as any back in this class and is the biggest sleeper in the class."

Round 6 (169)- Chris White, LB

Another player who played for the Bills coaching staff in the Senior Bowl. They really like him. White is a tough, hard-nosed player with terrific instincts. He is another player that adds quality depth and special teams ability.

Round 7 (206)- Justin Rogers, DB

One knock on him is that he is from a small school (Richmond) who hasn't really faced any quality talent. A lot of experts believe, though, that he is a great player who just needs some time. He is gonna add depth to an already talented secondary. It will be interesting to see what happens with him.

Round 7 (245)- Michael Jasper, DT

This guy is huge. He's 6' 4", 378 pounds. He is a raw talent from a small school. This guy could be a hidden gem if he turns out, so we'll see if it happens. Good solid pick for the Bills' last pick of the draft.